i never made it to mexico

by eighteighty

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released October 28, 2013

all songs written, recorded, and mixed by eighteighty

maria mannisto appears on keyboard on 'it's a jungle out here', and 'and you're my inside'

mastering by dean swanson at magnets large and small, seattle, wa



all rights reserved


eighteighty Atlanta, Georgia

a never-ending conceptual project

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Track Name: la última vez
someone said
glass is red
fists creep up when faced with death
it faces familiar foes as you paint your toes
looks through the window
heartbeat's dead
massive bled
out and spun around again
you fed my darkroom with your daylight hose
and it grows so

say to me the things you couldn't say to them
they won't bother me
and i'll say to you the things i think you want me to
this will be the last time

midnight ends
fantasies lent
la última vez
cuando los extraños se encuentran
i'd like to face ahead
go back to bed
a tissue bled
hung delicate on a clothesline
and if it dries in daylight maybe you'll

say to me the things you couldn't say to them
they won't bother me
and i'll say to you the things i think you want me to
this will be the last time

on second thought
your blood turned water
my thirst is stronger
it fabricates
the glowing waters
la lluvia de sangre
para nuestras vidas
i won't remember the last time unless you
Track Name: i'd do it for you
when the lights get bright i torture you
in the open yet behind your back
i tried to turn them off and cut the slack and fall and hang from a noose
but i couldn't even get that right

and i wish i could wish i never knew you
i wish i could wish to erase you
i'd wish i could fly right by you
but i can't and know that

if i could only find the words to say i'd say them to you
but i can't and
every waking moment of my day
i do it for you

you said i missed the boat
but i couldn't have stayed afloat (even without you)
stop those words before you say them; don't make them real
just count the days it takes to forget

these delusions skate the thinnest ice
i looked in your eyes alive in a different time
it's as if you're lady ashley and i toast to you for a damned good time
"at least it's pretty to think"
Track Name: welcome to the city
can't abandon buildings before they've flooded
despite the fact bloody water is coming
can't retreat during high tide
it's come to reclaim you
i wonder where oh where is your sense of thunder
it's floating against the wind
and i've caught some up ahead
let us meet at the same place in time
as we walk our lines
one will deviate every time
and that's why we lie

life is full of missed connections, so you better live on or you'll miss them
welcome to the city, you'll fit right in
i've visited this place time and time again, and you should too
Track Name: it's a jungle out here
we all truncate ourselves, don't we?
at least one way or another, don't we?
today I cut off my lover
call it philanthropy
we thought this was over
but i've got years to go, and years to grow

differing manuscript
i've been here before but memories clipped
carbamazepine and eskalith

watch this bull fighter
he dances in veneer
these bulls dance on parade
diffareation complete

cut the supply line and the water runs thicker
weight no longer carries itself
it floats on the backs now, of others
matter created, and destroys
Track Name: and you're my inside
i'd meet you in the afterlife
but i wouldn't know who to look for
stuck in this cycle it's my hell
i forgot what to hold on to

the monster raises his hand shunned before them
his only request is to treat him softly
for he's never known the ways of an alien world
the jagged rocks below look familiar

your face has changed one hundred times over again
now you're irrelevant; are you even real?
a different story would be really nice about now
if i had it my way you'd be dead

these veins, these vile wretched blood cells
i've tried to keep them hidden, keep them inside
i tried to say it wasn't real

your face has changed one hundred times over again
now you're irrelevant
i lied to save my own
reveal this to me

where oh where did i go wrong my darling
it's like your my insides, i know you're there
but only in pictures
and these are trying times
i never thought i'd look you in the eyes again

it's a jungle out here, and you're my inside
Track Name: granitely clad
every time you cut me i cut deeper and deeper
so cast your heart at sea
i'd swim out to find it but you'd dissuade me
my heart's manic, make me granite
and while your heart floats, my heart sinks
Track Name: i never made it to mexico
the screen turns black
i forgot to look into your eyes
those softened eyes
once filled with disappointment
are now filled with apathy

close your eyes, hold onto this one last time
what could have been, what should have been (my tongue gets lost)
i never made it to mexico
Track Name: eskalate eskalith
when i think of stairs, they fall and plateau
but you go the other way
no more rise and fall, start to even out one way
no more scream and shout
but you go the other way

never have i ever thought it would come to this
it's like my head's in the clouds while i'm pulling a till through my own shit
take these shears to this ribbon
make a puzzle and untangle these deep lies
we make the same mistakes even after living these same lives
i'd tell you to travel a straight line
i've traveled many and i can't escape mine
we're all the same except our names
so keep your fucking life
make your new home while i shoot up towards the sky

is reality really what we see, or what we feel?
because the latter feels more real
and tonight you die in my head
because that's what it takes to get rid of you
and that seems more real

but tomorrow you still get to wake
let's not fight today, tomorrow will be too late