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i never made it to mexico

by eighteighty

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1.
phoenix 1986 01:50
2.
someone said glass is red fists creep up when faced with death it faces familiar foes as you paint your toes looks through the window heartbeat's dead massive bled out and spun around again you fed my darkroom with your daylight hose and it grows so say to me the things you couldn't say to them they won't bother me and i'll say to you the things i think you want me to this will be the last time midnight ends fantasies lent la última vez cuando los extraños se encuentran i'd like to face ahead go back to bed a tissue bled hung delicate on a clothesline and if it dries in daylight maybe you'll say to me the things you couldn't say to them they won't bother me and i'll say to you the things i think you want me to this will be the last time on second thought your blood turned water my thirst is stronger it fabricates the glowing waters la lluvia de sangre para nuestras vidas i won't remember the last time unless you
3.
702 06:50
4.
when the lights get bright i torture you in the open yet behind your back i tried to turn them off and cut the slack and fall and hang from a noose but i couldn't even get that right and i wish i could wish i never knew you i wish i could wish to erase you i'd wish i could fly right by you but i can't and know that if i could only find the words to say i'd say them to you but i can't and every waking moment of my day i do it for you you said i missed the boat but i couldn't have stayed afloat (even without you) stop those words before you say them; don't make them real just count the days it takes to forget these delusions skate the thinnest ice i looked in your eyes alive in a different time it's as if you're lady ashley and i toast to you for a damned good time "at least it's pretty to think"
5.
can't abandon buildings before they've flooded despite the fact bloody water is coming can't retreat during high tide it's come to reclaim you i wonder where oh where is your sense of thunder it's floating against the wind and i've caught some up ahead let us meet at the same place in time as we walk our lines one will deviate every time and that's why we lie life is full of missed connections, so you better live on or you'll miss them welcome to the city, you'll fit right in i've visited this place time and time again, and you should too
6.
we all truncate ourselves, don't we? at least one way or another, don't we? today I cut off my lover call it philanthropy we thought this was over but i've got years to go, and years to grow differing manuscript i've been here before but memories clipped carbamazepine and eskalith watch this bull fighter he dances in veneer these bulls dance on parade diffareation complete cut the supply line and the water runs thicker weight no longer carries itself it floats on the backs now, of others matter created, and destroys
7.
i'd meet you in the afterlife but i wouldn't know who to look for stuck in this cycle it's my hell i forgot what to hold on to the monster raises his hand shunned before them his only request is to treat him softly for he's never known the ways of an alien world the jagged rocks below look familiar your face has changed one hundred times over again now you're irrelevant; are you even real? a different story would be really nice about now if i had it my way you'd be dead these veins, these vile wretched blood cells i've tried to keep them hidden, keep them inside i tried to say it wasn't real your face has changed one hundred times over again now you're irrelevant i lied to save my own reveal this to me where oh where did i go wrong my darling it's like your my insides, i know you're there but only in pictures and these are trying times i never thought i'd look you in the eyes again it's a jungle out here, and you're my inside
8.
9.
10.
every time you cut me i cut deeper and deeper so cast your heart at sea i'd swim out to find it but you'd dissuade me my heart's manic, make me granite and while your heart floats, my heart sinks
11.
12.
the screen turns black i forgot to look into your eyes those softened eyes once filled with disappointment are now filled with apathy close your eyes, hold onto this one last time what could have been, what should have been (my tongue gets lost) i never made it to mexico
13.
when i think of stairs, they fall and plateau but you go the other way no more rise and fall, start to even out one way no more scream and shout but you go the other way never have i ever thought it would come to this it's like my head's in the clouds while i'm pulling a till through my own shit take these shears to this ribbon make a puzzle and untangle these deep lies we make the same mistakes even after living these same lives i'd tell you to travel a straight line i've traveled many and i can't escape mine we're all the same except our names so keep your fucking life make your new home while i shoot up towards the sky is reality really what we see, or what we feel? because the latter feels more real and tonight you die in my head because that's what it takes to get rid of you and that seems more real but tomorrow you still get to wake let's not fight today, tomorrow will be too late

credits

released October 28, 2013

all songs written, recorded, and mixed by eighteighty

maria mannisto appears on keyboard on 'it's a jungle out here', and 'and you're my inside'

mastering by dean swanson at magnets large and small, seattle, wa

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eighteighty Atlanta, Georgia

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